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Thursday, May 22, 2003

Life With a Dumbass (Moi)

Yesterday evening my wife called to say she wouldn't be home for dinner and could I please bring her something to eat at school. She was finishing up some paperwork in her classroom and couldn't get away until late.

I said I'd provide the food but was concerned about my attire:

Me: I'm wearing shorts, is that a problem? (When I was in elementary school, shorts were banned. And we didn't have air conditioning!)

Mary: I don't care if you're wearing a thong and flip flops. Bring me some food.

Me: (I take the mere mention of "thong" as an invitation to become wacky.) How about if I wear a thong made of suggestive monkey fur? Gold sequined loincloth? Crotchless leather? Spandex hot pants? Banana sling? Tights and a codpiece?

Mary: (Pause.) Just bring the food. I'm going to hang up now.

I brought her the food. And I wore shorts.




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