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Monday, April 07, 2003

Inlaw Visit Ratings

Several entries ago I developed a system of rating my inlaws' racist/anti-gay/etc. comments.

We visited them this weekend (sometimes it just can't be avoided), and here's my rating.

One Hitler (for anti-Jewish remarks):

One Cross Burning (for racist remarks):

One Pink Triangle (for anti-gay remarks):

The Hitler was earned by my father-in-law's sneer that one townsperson's "Jewish accountant" got them a large tax deducation for donating some lights for the main street.

That made me wonder what would have happened if they'd used a Catholic accountant. Maybe they would have owed taxes, but been required to pay them to the pope.

The burning cross and pink triangle come my father-in-law, who refers to Michael Jackson as "That queer little nigger."

(I'm certainly not defending Jackson. He creeps me out. I just feel like "not appropriate for unsupervised contact with miors" is a better way to refer to him than "queer little nigger.")

My brother-in-law also figures into the decision for the cross-burning. He believes United States forces should kill all Iraqis, including civilians, because, "They might not be dangerous now, but our kids will just end up fighting their kids."

If you take that line of reasoning to its logical conclusion, killing all Germans during World War II would have made it impossible for him to drive the nice German-made car he loves. No Germans would have survived to build it.

Also, the allies would have never have benefitted from the efforts of Gerhard Neumann, the German engineer who helped us develop the jet engine--and therefore be a tad less afraid of the Soviets.

What if the Union Army had followed my brother-in-law's line of reasoning? I would be here. My family fought for the Confederacy.

Don't worry, folks. My inlaw's (1) don't represent the majority opion in these parts and (2) are entitled to exercise their First Amendment rights to embarrass themselves.

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