My inlaws came up yesterday for my wife's birthday. Overall, it was a pretty good visit.
But like tired, cranky children at the end of a long day straining to behave, they finally broke down and returned to their usual bad habits: bringing up my wife's emotional adolescence, and, of course, criticizing non-Christian, non-whites, etc.
I'm therefore instituting a new rating system here at Chapped Ass World Headquarters. I'll rate my inlaws' behavior accordingly:
Each anti-semitic comment gets a Hitler:
Each anti-black comment gets a Ku Klux Klan Burning Cross:
Occasionally they criticize homosexuals, but not very often, because they know and like a few, and are therefore conflicted. When/if they do make an insensitive remark, I'll give them a Pink Swastika, if I can find one.
If they make my wife cry, I'll give a Crying Woman:
Yesterday's visit earns one Hitler. My father-in-law claims Jews are more sexually promiscious than non-Jews.