VYVYAN: Ow! Quick, get the stirrups! I'm going to have my baby now!
RICK: Look what your rough-arm tactics have done, fascist!
NEIL: Quick! Dial 999! Get an ambulance!
MIKE: I can't watch this. [Mike leaves the room]
NEIL: Oh, no...
[Instead of giving birth, Vyv lets out a seemingly interminable fart. Neil and Rick almost pass out from the smell]
RICK: Quickly, the keys to the handcuffs, I'm suffocating!
NEIL: Uh, uh...
[he searches his pockets for the keys]
[suddenly, Vyv stops, and Rick and Neil collapse.]
MIKE: [rushing back in] Is it over, then? Congratulations, Vyv.
[he puts a cigar in Vyv's mouth]
Well, what have we got, a boy or a girl?
[Mike is about to light the cigar]
RICK: No, Mike, NO!!!!
[EXTERIOR SHOT of the house exploding. The credits roll and the guy escape the house, their faces covered with soot, and stare despondently at the burning remains of their home -- except for Vyv, who is of course fascinated.]