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Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Death from Above

Our neighborhood has a Japanese beetle problem, and it's not pretty. Those freakin' bugs munch on the leaves of your trees and bushes until you have leaf skeletons.

By the way, Japanese Beetles look like little Volkswagen Beetles painted bright, metallic green. (This picture doesn't really capture their color the best.)

The Enemy

I didn't know what to do about them last year except hope the frost would kill them and they wouldn't come back.

I was wrong. I had to take drastic measures, so I mixed up my own Agent Orange solution from a couple of different things whose containers were labeled with words ending in "-icide." I sprayed it on myself, tuning out the usual warnings from wife to not get it on me, not breathe it...not drink it.

The results are: I'm still alive, without any nerve damage, and my driveway is covered with dozens of dead beetles.

I realize Agent Orange was the defoliant used in Vietnam and wasn't an insecticide, but I like that name. Makes you think there was a whole slew of deadly products with fruit names, such as:
Nectarine Napalm
Mango Mustard Gas
Grape Nuclear Winter Kool-Aid
Cherry Slurpee Fragmentation Big-Gulp

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