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Friday, June 07, 2002

Vacation Elation. Not.

My wife is back in town after a week and half on the road with her mother. They went to the beach in South Carolina, toured old homes in Savannah, Georgia, shopped for antiques and the like.

The first part of the vacation seemed okay, but toward the end, my wife seemed more exasperated. It seems that my mother-in-law somehow lost/misplaced/had stolen $600 in cash from her purse.

That brings up the issue of what was she doing with $600 in cash. Selling drugs? Been distrustful of banks ever since that crash in '29?

Anyway, the money's gone, and the likely suspect (or the easiest to blame) is a bellboy at a hotel. They never talked to the hotel manager, never called the police...just kept on trucking.

My mother-in-law tried to conceal the loss from my wife, until the next day she had to ask, "Um, do you have any cash?" Then the cat was out of the bag.

My wife called me from the road and had to get the PIN number for the credit card. I didn't know it, and Citibank won't tell you over the phone. My wife lost her bank money machine card a few weeks ago, and a replacement hasn't arrived, so no dice with that.

(I'm beginning to wonder if this kind of thing runs in her family.)

You can buy pretty much everything with a credit card these days, so they made it back fine just charging things--no cash needed.

Then, my mother-in-law revealed she also can't find her diamond-encrusted watch. I don't know if the bell boy had anything to do with that. Or just gravity.

Then, my mother-in-law hit a deer on the interstate. It did very limited damage to the car--just bent the edge of the hood--but of course the deer lost this head-butting contest.

When I picked up my wife at her parents' place on Tuesday, I was sworn to secrecy about the "incidents." She doesn't want my father-law to find out because he has a bit of a short fuse. Think of Yosemite Sam.

On the drive back my wife mentioned her mother said she (my wife) had a fat ass. I asked what brought this on. My wife said her mother saw her on the toilet. Why you'd "take care of business" with the door open in front of your parents is confusing to me, but, people are different about these things. My wife sometimes follows me into the bathroom to launch a conversation. I tell her I'm preparing to play some water music, and I'm a one-man band.

Now, if anything's missing in our house, I blame it on the bell boy.
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